A Mom Sayings Six-Pack of Thoughts

by Jake Stevens

“Why? Because I said so.” If there was ever a classic Mom quote, that was it. Whenever I wanted an explanation, if Mom didn’t have a specific reason, she just uttered those words and it was game over.

There were plenty more statements like that one. Not all of them were true, like, “Your face is going to freeze that way.” But they were words to live by then and still are now. So in honor of Mother’s Day, here are six other sayings to help break down the weekend that was in sports.

  • 1. You better wipe that smile off your face before I do it for you. With one out to go for a no-hitter, Tigers pitcher Justin Verlander was actually smiling on the mound. I guess you can do that when you’ve already thrown a no-hitter previously and you’re still hitting 100 mph on the radar gun. Suffice it to say the Blue Jays didn’t wipe the smile off his face as he completed the no-no by striking out Rajai Davis.
  • 2. I can’t believe you did that. The Dallas Mavericks are the team that notoriously folds in the clutch. Since choking away the NBA title in 2006, it hasn’t been if they will lose, but how painfully. But this year’s team is changing our perceptions, especially after sweeping the two-time defending champion Lakers, including come-from-behind wins in the first three games. I’m with Mom, I can’t believe they did that.
  • 3. Enough is enough. Phil Jackson had all but said this was going to be his last year in coaching. After Sunday’s shellacking, besides asking why his team melted down so badly, reporters wanted to know if the Zen Master was going to come back. He coyly replied, “I haven’t answered that, have I?” But we all know the answer.
  • 4. If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all. HBO’s “24/7 Penguins/Capitals: Road to the Winter Classic,” was an inside look at two hockey teams preparing for a big game. Tampa Bay just authored the sequel, “7/4 Penguins/Capitals: Road to Summer Vacation,” knocking out Pittsburgh in seven games in Round 1 and Washington in a sweep in Round 2. I wonder how many f-bombs Bruce Boudreau dropped in the Capitals locker room after it was all over. (Editor’s Note: Contains lots and lots and lots of words of which Mom wouldn’t approve !)
  • 5. Don’t sit too close to the television, it will ruin your eyes. Viewers in Albany, Ga., must have been wondering if their vision was messed up Saturday when NBC affiliate WALB went to commercial in the middle of the Kentucky Derby and couldn’t correct the mistake until the race had ended. It turns out new switching equipment at the station led to the accidental advertisement. Too bad a horse named Heidi didn’t win.
  • 6. Where do you think you’re going? Kevin Harvick was angry with Kyle Busch for getting spun around during NASCAR’s Southern 500. So after the race, Harvick followed Bush around the track until he could hop out of his car and go after him. Just like during the race, things didn’t go as planned for Harvick.
  • THERE IT IS!
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