A Finals, Fools and Shaq-Fu Six-Pack of Thoughts

Weekly Six-Pack

The Heat versus the Lakers would've made for an amazing NBA Finals, with the talented Miami trio gunning for its first title against the two-time defending champs. The only problem was, it would've matched up the team everybody now hates the most against the team everybody used to hate the most and left us rooting for the court to open up and swallow both teams.

by Jake Stevens

Thankfully, the Mavericks took care of that problem when they took care of the Lakers. Unfortunately, it also made the Heat’s road to the title much easier. Yes, the games have been competitive and the meltdown in Miami gave us a glimmer of hope, but let’s not kid ourselves. The only question remaining after Sunday’s game is whether the Heat will return to Miami to close it out in Game 6, or for the championship parade.

1) He already knows his ring size. Dwyane Wade is playing like a guy that knows how to win a title because he does. He tortured Dallas in 2006 and he’s doing it again, racking up 29 points, 9 rebounds and 5 assists per game in the championship round. I may not have liked the way he did it, but LeBron made a smart decision to hitch his wagon to Wade. And I’m not going to worry about how to spell his first name because I’ll just write MVP !

2) LeBron delivers off the court. LeBron has been quiet offensively in the 4th quarters, scoring just nine points on 3-11 shooting in the first three games. Columnist Gregg Doyel of CBSSports.com asked why he’s become the “incredibly shrinking” superstar. LeBron didn’t shrink from the question, basically saying Doyel doesn’t understand basketball.

3) Dirk can’t do it alone. In previous years, we kept saying this about LeBron. But in a few more games, we’ll be saying the same about Dirk Nowitzki. Despite averaging 28 points and 10 rebounds per game in the finals, Nowitzki will be without a ring when the series ends, because he doesn’t have any superstar teammates. I just hope he never decides the way to acquire jewelry is to take his talents to South Beach as well.

4) Burrows is a four-letter word in Beantown. It was bad enough when the Canucks Alexandre Burrows bit the Bruins Patrice Bergeron during a scrum and the NHL geniuses decided not to suspend him. Allowed to play in Game 2, he became public enemy #1 in Boston when he scored the OT game-winner. For those with small children, I recommend watching Game 3 with the volume turned down to avoid hearing the words Bruins fans use to describe him.

5) Stop comparing him to them. Plaxico Burress is out of jail and hoping to return to the NFL. And plenty of morons in the media keep talking about how Michael Vick and Ben Roethlisberger provided the blueprint for his return. Burress didn’t kill dogs. Burress didn’t assault women. Burress was carrying an unlicensed weapon for protection and accidentally shot himself. He doesn’t need to follow their leads, he just needs to play football. And not carry an unregistered gun, of course.

6) Now that’s an audition tape. Shaq finally retired last week after 19 seasons in the NBA. He’s always been an entertainer and clearly wants a job on TV. After watching his retirement press conference, I’m guessing he won’t be searching for work too long.
Hey, Shaq, want to join us on Inside Sports ?

THERE IT IS !

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One Response to A Finals, Fools and Shaq-Fu Six-Pack of Thoughts

  1. I am from Germany and we can be very happy with Dirk Nowotzki. A German born is really a superstar inside the top basketball league on the planet. We’re delighted how the Us citizens celebrate “all of our” Dirk. This might be significantly less well known in the states.

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